


Giddy up

by stardustchenle



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M, Not Beta Read, Self-Indulgent, fake deep ramble, i have no idea what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 20:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20570465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustchenle/pseuds/stardustchenle
Summary: Jaemin has a realisation. Jaemin thinks a lot and doesn't really know anything, apart from the fact that he likes Jisung.





	Giddy up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aquatictalks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquatictalks/gifts).

> I literally have 5 fic fests fics to write but was stalling and one sentence skylar (cozynajaemin) said in dms suddenly inspired me so… wrote this in 3 hours and here we go. could I wait until tomorrow to beta it and not post a mess at midnight? yes, but we post sporadically and irresponsably like men here

_ This is my person. _

The realisation was stark, striking, undeniable. It was new, it was foreign, it was like a pang to the stomach, it threw his whole world off its axes. And yet, at the same time, it didn’t feel surprising at all. It was unfamiliar to him, yes, but it was also warm, it felt _ right, _ like something had shifted into place. Finally. How such a revelation could simultaneously feel like being punched in the gut and like entering a warm building in the winter and sitting down with the fumes of a hot chocolate reinvigorating the tip of his nose red from the cold was beyond him, but he didn’t stop to question it. He was too giddy and light on his feet for that. He wished he had a better way to describe it, really, but told himself that after all floating in the universe with no real clue of anything except for the fact that he was lost, that it was endlessly vast and that he loved being there could technically be described as _ ‘being giddy and light on his feet’_, or so he reasoned.

_ This is my person. _

The words stopped swirling all around him like the night sky of that one Van Gogh painting everyone loved, Starry Night, was it? and settled comfortably in his chest. The comparison made him think of that other one too, called The Scream or The Yell, he couldn’t remember, but that painting seemed to be all about being terrified and not being able to breathe and the _ bad _kind of being lost, so he discarded it. He certainly didn’t feel like that. Not when those words were now nestled inside of him after having flowed from his brain where they had come to life down through his throat, hot and sparkly and liquid gold and washing over his ribcage bones in the process. Words that made him feel like he was heating up from the inside, like they were a candle flame, that made him raise his chin a bit higher and straighten his spine for the little more it was possible with his already usually good posture, like he was proud. Maybe he was.

_ This is my person. _

The realisation kept following him all day. As he prepared the books inside his bag, as he listened to music while he got off public transportation to walk to university, as he got himself a drink after coming back from his post-lunch classes and it reminded him of Jisung’s laugh. It was a curious name, _ Bubble Tea_, if he thought about it, and whenever Jisung laughed in that way of his, so happy and impossible to control from breaking out in between his speech and making his whole body jerk forward or backward or fold in half, all he could think of were the words _ bubbles _ and _ bubbly. _ Words were truly a fascinating thing, he decided, even if with his major he didn’t really get to see a lot of them. This brought him to make a list of all the curious-sounding words with a soft and round _ B _ sound he could think of while on the way back, and to see if he could relate them to Jisung too. Bon-Bon. Basil. Ball. Boggart. Maybe this “newfound” respect for words had always been there, somewhere deep, like the revelation, just waiting to be discovered by him. It very well could be. The realisation kept following him even one or two hours later, when he got to witness that laugh in person with all his other friends too. Bubbles.

_ This is my person. _

Not that he minded, really. It was like when you’re a kid and you dream of bringing your pet to school, hidden clumsily and flush against your shirt under your clothes. It was a companion, it was always there, he could feel the steady warmth of it against his chest whenever he wanted to. Upon thought, after all, it didn’t exactly follow him, it walked with him, to say it better. Words are fascinating, he reminded himself. The realisation stayed with him for hours, days, a week. He had grown so accustomed with it that he couldn’t think of a time when it wasn’t there, firm and fixed and boiling gold inside his ribcage. But then again, he remembered that it always had been, he just hadn’t noticed.

_ This is my person. _

It stayed with him also as he was on that roof, empty coke cans beside them. It stayed as he looked at Jisung, as he studied the way the street lights carded through his hair and caressed his face, as he didn’t tear his gaze away after their eyes had met, not that he wanted to. As he kept looking and said _ “Jisung, I think I like you.” _ The realisation was out there then, not nestled in his chest anymore, but it still stayed. It stayed as Jisung smiled warmly and he felt like he was floating in the universe again, the good kind of lost. As Jisung nodded calmly and said _ “I like you too, Jaemin.” _ As he told Jisung that he didn’t really know anything, but he liked to get lost, as Jisung smiled again like the perfect person he is. If Jisung had been confused by his comment he didn’t show it, or maybe it didn’t matter, because Jisung was good at understanding him anyway, and the realisation stayed as Jisung took his hands and nodded calmly, saying that they could take it slow. It stayed even as another realisation came to join it, making it blossom and telling him that now he could _ say _ things. That now his revelations could be out there, in the endlessly vast _ out there _that seemed a lot like the universe which he felt he was floating in sometimes. 

_ “You are my person.” _

It moved from inside him to over them as Jisung laughed. Other bubbles. Smaller this time, fond, with a tinge of toned-down pink, like Jisung’s hair. Now the liquid gold, the warmth felt all around them, not just in his chest. He liked it. It would always stay like that now, he realised, adding to his universe. It stayed as the stars above them shined, as Jisung squeezed his hands some more, as the street lights kept caressing Jisung’s features, Jisung's cheeks, the angle of Jisung's nose, like he would have wanted to do too, if his hands were free.

_ “You are my person too.” _

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought, and come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/stardustchenle) !


End file.
